CLOAK/4.3The desire to create, to fill space with the imagined,
to function, accountable, positive, upjetting with the demands of the imagined to exist
something that can be worked on for hours and hours, giving reasons for living, creating purpose for the creative self
purposeful enjoyment, the self itself entertaining, if not invariably then still reliably.
The dread of not creating, the feeling of dread that descends when creating is not done, when
there are difficulties, when there is not time or not that use of time|
the back-up as in drains of wet grey dread, that wordless pulp of squelch and bubbling thinly, caking off in chips
all the horrid signs of catastrophic drought impending
all the symptoms of poisoninga jetting burst of psycho-endocrine alarm which leaves traces in the brain.
The dread of not creating
when it passes into the work like a bad gene or a demon and lives there, the work becomes a habitation with a central spider in the door.